Hi Everyone

   All done with radiation!!! So, happy not to drive into St,Paul everyday.
   Waiting for spring. Waiting, waiting. I can see grass in the yard. My flowers have not even tried to show, yet.
    School is good. My life seems to have become boring. I am all for that. Boring is good.
    Sorry not alot to say.

Just a quick note.

    I have been busy working on my mid-term for crisis intervention. Thank god it is open book, and I get two trys at it. I did find out I knew more than I thought.
    Today is my birthday. I really am whatever about. I have always been so excited about it. Today it is oh well. I do not have a problem with gettting older. I think woman just get better with age. I know I am more comfortable with who I am. I am more at peace with who I was. I have even learned to forgive myself. ( a little)
    I only have three radiation treatments left! I am so sick of driving into St. Paul. It will be nice to have one more thing off my to do list.
    Gotta get ready for school. Love and Hugs

Hi Everyone

   I am off the steroids. Funny how I could not wait to be done. They messed with my mind, made me never feel full. bloatted me. overall a aweful side effect experience. But, I am nervous of being off them. After all they did the job.
   I only have three radiation treatments left!!! My hair is gone. I am rockin hats once again.
   School is going great. Getting  caught up.
   Spring is a coming!! I can not wait to plant a flower, see my bulbs bloom. ok grass i want grass.

Control

    I have been thinking a lot about control. When you are first given a diagnosis you loose all control. Doctors, nurses, hospitals, tests,scans. Then drugs that make you feel your loosing your mind. Your whole life is be here, go there. I am very blessed to have a wonderful man in my life, and awesome friends to make sure I was where I had to be. But, I had no control over any of it. I did not even have control of my thoughts.
     Now I have gained back control. I control when I have treatment, I control my life again. It is so important for people to have a sense of control no matter how small. If taking some control means a cheeseburger, get them a cheeseburger.
     I feel so much better just by having a control of my life. I no longer am lingering, in a holding pattern. No, matter how sick or confused someone may be they still need to know they are in control. Even if the only control is a cheeseburger.

School

  School is going great! Had a wonderful meeting with 3 of my instructors. They are willing to work with me. What a load off my mind. I do not feel so over whelmed now. Now the hard part of catch up begins. I have to yell to the world how blessed I am for my classmates!!!! All of you are wonderful people. Thank you for you kindness, copies of notes and most importantly being there. I am not sure how or what I can ever do to show you what that means to me. .
   6 days of radiation left! It will be so nice not having to do that everyday. It is alot of work making treatment fit in my life. Chemo will be once a week. That was easy to set up. Plus once a week is still having a life in some contol.
    Waiting for my tulips and daffidils to sprout. SPRING get here!! Winter has been to long!
     Hey R, thinking about you, your in my heart.   

Back to School

Well my hair is gone. Just a bunch of fuzz. It is not right to put a hat on a woman having hot flashes. No worries it will grow back. Plus I got a nice head. School was great! I took a psyc. test. My brain is fried and I did better than on tests I studied for. 5 points better. Yes that is a big deal. Today was great blue sky sunshine. Gotta finish my paper.

I am sad pitiful and pathetic

The drug sucks. but, is getting better. Now, I not only have brain cancer. I have A SINUS infection. What next?  Am I being punished for spring break day? I keep saying God has a cruel streak, along with a very sick sence of humor.